🎶 Musical Mindfulness 🎶

“Paying attention NOW allows you to conduct this moment on purpose, just like a beautiful piece of music”. 

Michelle Townsend

As well as being a holistic therapist working with hypnosis and hypnotherapy, I am also a private music teacher.  Music plays a very big part of my life and my family’s life.  Music plays an important part in everyone’s life in fact.  More than we realise.

Have you ever tried to get through a day without hearing or listening to music?  Have you ever asked yourself that question?  Most people haven’t, not even noticing or realising the fact that music is everywhere around them.  It becomes something running in the background.  Just like we become automated in our routines and our thoughts.

Could we use Music to Help Promote Mindfulness? …

I’ve come to realise that if we can use music as an example to help describe and understand mindfulness, we can start to apply being more mindful more easily in everyday life.  By looking at life just like music, being aware of it, stopping in the moment to be aware of what we are listening to, and what we are seeing in the same moment, are we not already practising ‘mindfulness’?   

Daily Music …

Most of the time no matter how hard we try we won’t get through a day without hearing a piece of music.  Those wonderful resonating sounds and frequencies that we take for granted are always there.  I especially hear many different tunes during a day.  I have various pupils at different levels and standards.  Music serenades my life most days.  I am truly blessed. 

Become Aware of the Harmonies …

Think about when you are watching TV. Each programme has a theme tune, each advert has music in it.  We even associate songs and riffs to advertisements; that’s how they sell the things they are advertising!  Even films have music in them; the drama appears, or an exciting moment is about to happen, the orchestral film score performed by the orchestra creating the atmosphere in a split second.  We even experience it in shopping centres, shops, and public places where it is known as ‘muzak’.  Having light background music entertains and is known to increase sales, it runs at a subconscious level.  You may even start to be aware you are doing a little dance whilst hearing it or start humming the tune under your breath.  

Become Aware on Purpose …

So, what are we referring to here?  If you can become aware of hearing music, you can become aware of your surroundings and what you are thinking.  Mindfulness is being aware on purpose.  It is the key to making conscious decisions instead of impulsive ones.  It is the art of pausing and considering your options and choices in any moment. 

Concert Sounds and Surroundings …

Both our boys are musicians living in London, and we often go to concerts to see and hear them play.  Recently a couple of weeks ago we did just that.  I noticed just before and during this specific concert of how aware I was, being observant of everything happening around me, my surroundings.  Not only was I aware of the concert hall that we were sitting in to enjoy the amazing performances, but also the details about it.  The layout, the colours, the people attending the concert.  

I really listened to the sounds, timbre, and pitch of the different instruments during the performances.  How all the performers brought it all together to create the harmonious sound which was well balanced and well rounded.  I really focused on being mindful of what I was aware of and listening to, the intricate detail of it.  As I did this, I became aware of how easy it was to change my focus, to redirect it.  Since experiencing cancer 13 years ago I practise mindfulness daily; but it was at this concert I thought let’s really see what I am aware of here, let’s see how being mindful creates a change within our mind and body, bringing in the benefits of NOW.  I often choose moments do this to deepen my practise of being mindful.  You can choose to do this at any point during the day.  Holidays, special occasions and performances like the above are perfect for trying this.

Bring it Back to NOW! …

We spend most of our life on autopilot.  We respond from practised thought processes, old beliefs, and programs.  If we allow ourselves to become more mindful, we can start to change these old habits and responses, creating new ones; finding you are not worrying about past or future making better decisions to find joy in the moment.  Once we choose to do this, and we create a habit around it, we can start to change our mental vocabulary and our inner language.  This then brings forward the awareness of what we don’t want, then knowing more clearly what we do want.  Mindfulness brings our awareness back to NOW!

Music in Meditation …

You often find a lot of the time music is used in guided meditations and relaxations.  It’s usually a gentle soft flowing sound, generally not having a specific melody to it which helps create calmness in that moment.  It is also there to bring an awareness, a focus, training the brain to maintain being in that moment.  This is how beneficial music can be.

Using Music as an Awareness Tool …

If we can use music to bring in that awareness surely, we can use it during our everyday life, using it to help redirect our thoughts.  Therefore, using music as a metaphor of awareness.   When we become aware of the music we hear, we can then be aware of what we are thinking.  We are more than our thoughts. Just thinking about what we are thinking can stop the thinking; think about that! In that moment we can pause and consider our options; just like a conductor conducts an orchestra, we can conduct our thoughts and decisions deliberately in any moment.  We can then make better choices from a conscious aspect rather than an unconscious aspect. 

A Simple Technique …

So, next time you hear music throughout your day, when you are out and about, acknowledge it, be aware of it.   Then, transfer it into being mindful in that moment to train your brain to make your decisions more consciously.   Because music is everywhere, use music to remind you to ‘train your brain’ in practising mindfulness, practise being mindful in your daily life.  Bring your awareness to NOW!  You’ll start to become aware of just how much you miss out on during your day. 

Rather than having your ‘mind full’ of automated thoughts, running your life on autopilot.  Have your mind ‘mindfully’ making choices that will better create your future choices the way you want it!  Use Music as the tool to help you get there.  Make it fun!  Enjoy!

Want to know More? …

Would you like to know more on Mindfulness?  Get in touch for help and advice in navigating a deeper understanding.  If we can use simple things to help change our approach, we can start to experience a change of perspective. Get your life back on track by being mindful. 

As Eckart Tolle says in his book ‘The Power of NOW’… ‘Realise deeply that the present moment is all you have.  Make the NOW the primary focus of your life.’

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Inspiration Through Fear

‘When the time is right, things fall into place.  Let go of the disappointment, it’s there for a reason, to grow’.

– Michelle Townsend. 

What Lies Beneath? 

‘Fear lies beneath. It hides, it’s sneaky.  It pops it’s head up when we least expect.  It brings forward feelings we didn’t realise were there.   Feelings that we thought were there can change and seem to lead to something more underlying, much deeper rooted.  We start asking ourselves questions of ‘why do I feel this way?’, ‘Why does this situation rattle my emotions?’.  We can start to feel a little baffled by it all.  

What does it teach us?  Where does it take us?  What is the real reason for it?  

There’s only Two

woman biting nails habit

It’s interesting to know that we are in fact born with only two innate fears.  The fear of loud noises or sounds, and the fear of falling.  Common human fears include fear of death, the fear of being abandoned, and one I find which resonates with a lot of people and deal with many times in sessions is the fear of failure.  

Apart from the two main fears, we create all others from our experiences as we go through life.  Experiences which have strong emotional links sink deep down into our subconscious.  The subconscious locks away our experiences good and bad and creates beliefs around them.  These beliefs become programs, programs that want to protect us.   The subconscious is just doing its job of looking after us…but…it doesn’t always get it right.  Fears can create blockages, stopping us moving forward, taking the next step, and even living life. 

From a Different Perspective

If we can learn to look at fear in a different perspective and foster a deeper understanding; fear could be our ultimate friend.  With this in mind, we can then start to process difficult situations from our past to help us create positive change for our future.  We can’t change the past, we can only learn and develop from it.  If we can take a step back from fear, acknowledge it, accept it; fear then strengthens the soul, powers us up, drives us. Learning to honour it as guidance is the real KEY here. 

Hidden Realisations

Have you ever lived through an experience where you thought you were just going through the motions of it, what you thought were normal responses, to then find you’d been experiencing FEAR all along without even realising?  I want to share something with you.  

Feel the Release…and Breathe

On the evening of Wednesday 15th February 2023, I settled myself into bed. It had been an extremely busy week.  Work life Balance had been hard going, tiring, but I always manage it.   I went to bed feeling extremely content, at peace, relaxed, and a balanced mindset.  I was suddenly made aware of a powerful feeling of release; the pressure had been completely taken off; the release valve opened.  It had suddenly come to my awareness that I had been holding onto fear which I hadn’t even realised.  My body felt complete rest, relieved, free. Why? Why did I suddenly become aware of this?  The release of the tension, the pressure, was the signal.  I had space to breathe.  

Now, you might say ‘well you have space to breathe anyway Michelle’ but apparently, I didn’t. This was the big realisation. That feeling of release.  I had received the news of the Hay House Writers Contest that evening only a few hours earlier.  

We are All Human

Yes, I’m a therapist, but I’m also a human being living life, having life experiences just like anyone else.  Sometimes people put therapists up on a pedestal, they have all the answers.  Yes, we have the techniques and tools to work clients through situations, we guide them to create the change within themselves; but we too have our shit to work through, continuing to have our life experiences also. I certainly work and teach from experience, especially with the cancer I experienced.  That turned out to be a true blessing.    

Entries Galore

It was on 15th December 2022 that I had submitted my book proposal for the publishing contest.  The proposal is almost a book within itself, months of work.  Hay House had received 250 entries for this session, WOW!  There were only three prizes up for grabs, in fact they changed it to four because they had received such high-caliber proposals! It’s wonderful to hear so many people are writing their inspirational stories to share.  I felt proud I had achieved this thus far; proud to be a part of this chance.  I honoured that within me.  

When The Time Is Right

On the 15th February 2023 we received the news of the contest winners.   Before the news I hadn’t realised how much I had been working myself up around the announcement, both in a positive and negative way.  Thoughts of ‘Oh it would be totally amazing if I won!  Look at what I could achieve, look at where this could take me, look how many people I could help by sharing my story’.  To then thinking…. ‘If I get through, look at everything I’m required to do!  How will I know how to do all this?  How will this sort and that sort?’ my mind was on overdrive.  Positive…negative…positive…negative, but I would always bring it back to the joy and gratitude of achieving and receiving that publishing deal, if it was meant to be.  

Processing Fear

What I realised that night was I had been living in fear.  The fact that I hadn’t got through this time didn’t faze me at all.  It became apparent by the feeling of release, the feeling of then being able to breathe again, that deep down I had been doubting myself.  ‘Am I good enough to write this book?  Who am I to write a book!’  

Not winning got me off the hook!  I know, totally ridiculous!  I was absolutely fine with the result, I felt so happy for the writers who had won.  It wasn’t my time, and I wholeheartedly accepted that.  

It highlighted for me to reassess my feelings.  Knowing I can resubmit again in June, whether I self-publish, or look at other publishers. It was an option, I do have choices, we always have choices.  Chapters have already started to change, so I’m adapting, going with the flow, growing with it.  My book will be ready when it’s time.  

It’s Normal to Feel this Way

Hay House Writers Community has been a blessing.  There is so much help and guidance from being part of this wonderful writing community.  Obviously, it isn’t free, I pay for it, but it is worth every penny.  

We have a section on there where each month we have a video to watch.  These are inspirational talks from Hay House authors who share their personal experiences of writing, their journey, and their advice.  These include names such as Dr Wayne Dyer, Marianne Williamson, Kyle Grey, Rebecca Campbell, Brendon Burchard, Gabrielle Bernstein, the list goes on.  

What became apparent that night was I was experiencing what almost every single writer experiences.  All the above and more have shared their feelings around fear, fear of not being good enough, fear of becoming a writer, fear of…you name it!  These wonderful writers have all shared their fears, their setbacks, and stories to help us.  I felt normal thinking back over these videos I’ve watched.  After all, most of these authors self-published in the first instance. I distinctly remember Dr David Hamilton sharing his powerful story at a talk a few years ago of how he felt regarding his writing of his first book and self-publishing, overcoming his fears. His latest blog ‘Say Yes to Life’ also shares fears of saying ‘yes’ and how in fact they can be the making of you.  They are all truly inspirational stories to hear.  It keeps you going.  

J. K. Rowling’s original Harry Potter book was rejected 12 times before it got it’s first publishing contract!    It has to be a face your fear and do it anyway situation.  ‘Feel The Fear And Do It Anyway’ Susan Jeffers rings a bell here. 

Sharing Our Fears Helps Others…It Empowers

How do we learn if we don’t share our fears? By talking about it we can process the feelings; create the learning that’s required to move forward, step forward and at the same time help others.  We tend to put off doing things because we are scared we don’t know how to do it! Just like listening to all the authors on Hay House, it makes us feel normal, a normal process.  With that understanding in mind it gives us the release, the freedom to continue and flow. Bite the bullet and just go for it!

People tend to hide their fears thinking it shows weakness when I fact we can use it as our strength!  Its all about changing our perspective.  We don’t have a manual for life, we just experience it.  It’s from those experiences we develop.  Moving from our head to our hearts can shift us. We are here to enjoy ourselves.  So rather than fearing the journey, ride it like a rollercoaster.  Yes, there will be ups and downs, accept that, that’s all part of the fun!  

Did anyone know how to do anything in the first place?  No they didn’t!! They had to learn through the process of inspiration through fear! You are guided along the way, one step leads to the next.  Learn to roll with it.  Adversity strengthens the soul, it breeds strength!  Pick yourself back up and continue, you’ll generate more wisdom that way. You learn more from your mistakes.

Help is Always Around

My intention here has been to help you look at fear in a different way, albeit subtle.  Maybe it has resonated with you in someway to help you in an area of your life.  Your fears may be completely different to mine, but we all have them, every single one of us.  It helps to ask yourself, ‘What am I wanting to achieve with my life?  How can I create that?’  Connect with that.  The right thoughts and directions will come in for you.  You’ve put the thought out so to speak.  Trust the guidance, follow your bliss. 

Do you have hidden fears you wish to address?  Get in touch for help and advice in navigating your fears.  Sometimes all it takes is that change of perspective. Get your life back on track.

As Anita Moorjani says in her book Dying to be Me… ‘live life fearlessly!‘

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Pace, Patience, Appreciation and Achievements

Busy, Busy, Busy!

The last few months of 2022 proved to be extremely busy, almost overwhelming, and a bit stressful – but fabulously amazing!  Running two businesses; continuing with writing the content for my book; completing my book proposal and the research for it; keeping up with social media posts; running music exams and then attempting to make time for me – my space to breathe.  Now I must say the last one of those took a bit of a back step considering what I preach to clients.  I could have done with 40 hours in a day rather than 24!  There were many 2 a.m.’s, quite a few to be honest, but I did it.  Sometimes life is like that. 

Simple Things are Achievements Too!

When we reach a deadline, we feel fantastic!  It feels such an achievement.  It’s such a big thing to us, but do we stop and acknowledge our achievements of the little things in life? The simple everyday things that we do. The things that almost seem part of our life that we just do on autopilot and take for granted, the daily chores.  

‘Oi You!’ Stop and Remember!

Christmas 2022 became a powerful reminder for me.  It was almost a kick up the back side to say ‘oi’ remember what you do, remember what you have done, remember all the things that you do and honour your achievements large or small, but remember to be there for YOU!

After the extremely busy few months preceding Christmas, my body decided it was time to step back; it was time for Covid!  Now, I’m a great believer that if we are on the verge of burn out, then the body almost says ‘that’s enough’ we are going to knock you off your feet so you will rest!  So it did. 

Sitting With What You Can’t Change…

Christmas was cancelled completely.  I was gutted. I was so looking forward to a Christmas where I could finally get back to a more balanced routine and enjoy family time, but it wasn’t to be.  It was complete bed rest and although I had to deal with symptoms, it was very refreshing.  I completely switched off; I had to; I had no choice in the matter.  Even though I had really enjoyed the journey and the experiences of being super busy, I had no urge to read, to go on social media, to write, nor, in fact, to do any of the things I had been doing. I had, after all got into an amazing routine, which I am proud of, but it was the warning to switch off and rest.  So…I followed my joy and found the enjoyment in watching films.

Acceptance Is key…

In brief, Covid knocked the energy right out of me in the weeks that followed.  I had to accept that just for a while I had to take a step back and honour me (Which I sometimes find hard to do) but that’s ok.  It was good for me.  Whilst resting I thought about what I’d been doing.  Just thinking about what I’d achieved wore me out.  Had I really done all of that before Christmas? How did I keep going? Where on earth did I find the energy to do all of that?  

When you experience fatigue, you learn to pace yourself, you learn to be patient, you must, you have no choice.  I’ve been there before with cancer treatment, so you’d think I’d know.  I’d even had to stop my running back in October because there physically wasn’t time or energy in my schedule to go out on a run.  Especially with 2 a.m.’s on the cards.  That was just something else to do, so I paused it for a while.  Sometimes we must make sacrifices. 

I felt guilty for not sharing my regular posts on social media and for not writing. The list goes on.  But I knew that I had to take the strong step back, to heal, to reset and it’s absolutely OK!

Go Gentle…

Starting back to work after the Christmas break had to be subtle. I prioritised what needed to be done, what didn’t and what could wait.  Learning to be patient and honour the simple things in life, such as those daily chores, remembering that those in themselves are massive achievements and something to be proud of.  You build yourself back up.  It was a powerful reminder.   

Realisations…

So, where am I going with this blog? What can you learn from it? You’ve already taken the information you require from it believe it or not.  That’s your subconscious working.  It would have highlighted many things within you to reconsider, you probably resonate with what I’ve shared in some way.  Use it to create change. 

You Set the Pace…

Life is busy, we all know that.  Jobs can become overwhelming whether at work or at home.  But life can be as busy or as relaxed as we make it.  We have a choice in any one moment about how we are going to deal with these jobs.  We are all guilty of setting the tread mill pace too fast without realising it.  When things need to be done, we just get on and do it in the best way we can and that’s great!  Sometimes we take too much on, overwhelming us without realising it.  

Acknowledging the Simple Things are Important…

So how can this reminder help?  What if we took the stance to acknowledge every simple little thing we do during each day.  Practising placing our thoughts into giving thanks and experiencing a feeling of gratitude for what we achieve every day, even those little chores.  We never think they are necessary or important, but they are.  Each chore takes up energy to achieve, it is within itself an achievement.  This may seem rather silly but it’s important. If acknowledging those little daily chores highlights to you what you are doing, could it change your choices and teach you to pace and be patient with yourself to help create a more balanced lifestyle? Absolutely it can!! We need to honour what we do, every single bit of it!  If we don’t, we can push ourselves too far.  Self-care is so important. 

Create the Balance…

So, what can we do to help create more balance in our lives? Here’s a few simple tips to help create Pacing, Patience, and Appreciation of your Achievements. 

  • Prioritise – what’s important and what can wait? 
  • Pace yourself – Go with the flow of what’s comfortable for you.  Remember to balance activities.
  • Be Patient – take the pressure off, go easy on yourself.
  • Praise and appreciation – Praise yourself up for what you can do.
  • Time Out – Allow times throughout the day to take a step back and reset, even if only for 10 minutes.  Being aware of what you are doing and being proud of it!
  • Space to Breathe – The breath is fantastic for bringing us back into balance.  Take time to allow space to breathe.  Nice deep breath in and slowly and gently exhaling out.  It feels good!  It is good!  You can do this in your time out. 
  • Rest Time – Honour a space each day to switch off completely (no that doesn’t mean bedtime! Or surfing social media!) If you switch off once home from work, make it more special.  Rest completely. 
  • Practise Gratitude – There is always something to be grateful for.  Remember those little things.  You’ll find more things to be grateful for because that’s where you are focused.
  • Enjoy the Journey – We are here to enjoy our lives.  Enjoy the simple things, you deserve it!  The bigger things will seem even more special when we take this approach.  Try it!

Final Word

These are all very simple but powerful.  Don’t allow yourself to burn out.  It’s all too easy to follow our thoughts and push ourselves.  Realise the importance of pacing and being patient with yourself, whether dealing with illness or busy daily life.  Take a step back, realise what you are doing and avoid going too fast on that tread mill!  Set your pace and enjoy the journey!

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#Pace #Patience #Appreciation #Achievements #stepback #reset #heal

Writer’s Block – Letting go to Flow

“Learn to Let Go … You’ll Go with the flow”

Michelle Townsend

The last few weeks have been unusual, and to be honest hard going.  Now, I know we all have these moments in our lives, no matter what it is we are dealing with, but the fact is, these moments are good for us.  Adversity drives us to look, to create what we want.  If you haven’t got the ‘contrast’ there’s nothing to look for, nothing to drive you.  This contrast can sometimes become a bit of a block, as I have experienced many times.  I already know this.  So why is it we get into this blocked state? If we already know how to deal with it, why do we get the block?

Writers Block

To say I’ve had writers block the last couple of weeks is an understatement!  When writers have spoken about writer’s block before I’ve never really thought much of it.  Yes, I have experienced it quite a few times during my writing but this time oh my goodness, this is proper writer’s block! 

Yes, I have been writing (a little), I always write every day, even if it’s for 5 minutes.  I’ve been posting quotes most days, that’s been no problem in that respect.  I’ve also been spending quite a bit of time on my book proposal.  But there’s been no sense of what I really wanted to get at, no ‘meat on the bones’ as they say to go in my book.  I’ve been going round in circles, which I know is one of my traits. Thoughts of … where’s my book going? what’s my title? (I do have a title but it’s changing yet again!) where am I aiming it for the reader?  Am I going in the right direction? It goes on and on and on!

Blog Time

I haven’t written a blog for a month now.  The feelings of falling behind with that were creeping in too.  As I started to write this blog, I didn’t really know what I was going to write today, or where it was going, but as one thought lead to another it fell in place in an instant.  I am flowing rather quickly on my computer typing in these words that you are reading now.  It’s amazing once you are in that flow, once you realise, AGAIN!  Sometimes you just have to write ‘anything’.  That anything, most of the time ends up being something you can use. From this I have decided to do a blog spot once a month. It’s remembering to be kind to ourselves.

Frustration to Flow

The thing is, you’ve got to go through these feelings and experiences for guidance.  We may feel frustrated at the time and tie ourselves up in all sorts of knots, I know I certainly do!  But if we don’t have the blocks that show up, where are the thoughts, feelings and experiences going to come from to get us to our destination? 

It’s taught me a powerful lesson again this week, one I already knew very well, but sometimes we need a good kick up the butt to say ‘Oi, remember let go and allow it to flow, don’t force it!’ That’s what I’ve been doing lately.  Trying too hard sometimes is detrimental to us, it puts blocks in place because we aren’t flowing naturally.  

Connection with other writers helps …

I had a lovely reminder from a lovely lady who I follow on LinkedIn, Mary McManus.  A true inspiration. I’m sure she won’t mind me sharing this in my blog.  A lady who has gone from experiencing Paralytic Polio and Post-Polio Syndrome to finishing the Boston marathon!  She runs regularly, most days in fact, how amazing is that!  She is certainly keeping me focused on my running!  Mary is an author of many books and writes poetry.  She shared a post plus a link to her blog that really resonated with me a few days ago, link here if you wish to read it.  

Mary’s post reminded me to step back.  Step back from the panic, stressing out, the ‘what if’s’, the fears.  I had been pushing way too hard, putting too much pressure on myself with regards my writing that it was completely blocking my flow.  It was blocking me big time!  I felt disconnected.

It’s quite funny really. Mary’s post was about Wi-Fi and 5G and connecting to it.  Something I know quite a lot about, been there and got the t-shirt shall we say!  That’s what my book is partly about, the learning I had from those experiences, the Electromagnetic Hypersensitivity.  After I read Mary’s blog I felt a sense of release, a deep reminder.  The quote Mary shared make me chuckle.  It said, “Faith is like Wi-Fi, it’s invisible but it has the power to connect you to what you need”.  That was so powerful for me it was unbelievable! Thank you, Mary, your post, and blog has been so helpful to me this week. 

Share the adversity … it helps others

We are all in this life together.  We are all connected.  Whether we believe we are or not.  When we share inspiration, our difficulties, our adversities no matter how large or small they may seem to other people, it can allow us to reconnect with that flow of life that we are looking for.  Our place of imbalance helps others get through theirs.  It can be applied to all areas of our lives, we can use it in so many ways.  There are so many different aspects to deal with in life, to overcome, but the general energy of dealing with it remains the same.   

Each person has their difficulties, and what may seem trivial to one is a major issue to another.  It all depends on what we are doing in our life at that time.  For me it was my writing the last few weeks, it’s important to me to get my story out there, so I can help others learn from my mistakes, learn from what I went through.  It was after all why I became a therapist.  I wouldn’t be a therapist if I hadn’t have gone through the dis-ease of those experiences.  If I can help one person to overcome such severe adversity, then I have done my job!  That’s why my writing is so important to me. 

Final words

So, there we go. I have been ‘in the flow’ this morning, I chose to let go. I chose to let this blog go where it needed to go. I hope you found it helpful, even if just a little helpful or food for thought 💭 I hope you have enjoyed reading my blog.

If you find yourself in a major block, no matter what it is. Not knowing where to turn … not knowing what to do in that moment … feeling frustrated … angry with yourself … stressed … worrying about the ‘what if’s’… just let go. Let go of trying too hard.  Nothing is set in stone. The more you let go and surrender, the more clarity you will have.  It’s not giving up; it’s letting go of that blocked energy.  Acknowledge that’s where you are right now, you are doing your best.  Trust you will be guided when you step back to process what’s required to allow you to move forward and flow into your next adventure. 

Learn to Let Go … You’ll Go with the Flow”

Michelle Townsend

For more information on help with feeling blocked in life pleased get in touch here. Maybe you require a new direction? Your life choices are changing? Whatever it may be. I’ve been there. I’m happy to help from my own places of adversity which I’ve learned so much from and experienced. Use them as your driving force!

Priceless Relaxation Testimonial

Great to be Back

September has appeared and it’s time to get back to The White House cancer Support after a lovely summer break.  Although it’s lovely to have a rest from running my relaxation support group, it’s also lovely to return. I do miss everyone.  I always look forward to getting back to our peaceful, calm, inspirational sessions. 

Long-standing Members

This year as we return, I’d like to share a beautiful testimonial of which has been written to have a place in my book.  It’s from one of my long-standing regulars of my group who attends almost every session.  Initially this lovely gentleman just came to try out the relaxation group, with a possibility of attending just an occasional session.  He had other priorities on a Thursday morning, but after attending a couple he enjoyed it so much that he never misses a session!

Making Sessions my Own

I find it truly heart-warming that people enjoy the sessions so much.  When I started as a volunteer at The White House Cancer Support back in November 2016, I would never have thought that the sessions would turn into what they are today.  I have developed them into something I am very proud of.  Initially when I first started in the role, I had thoughts of ‘How am I going to run these sessions?’, ‘What format will they take?’, ‘How will I know what to cover in them?’.  

Like most people starting a new position, many thoughts appear around what you are going to do in your role.  I needed not to be concerned. The sessions just flowed, adapted, adjusted, and were well received.  We have evolved with it. After all, I was coming from a place of my own experience with cancer.  I had already been on that cancer journey.  Sharing what I had learned and knew from my own experiences is what has made the sessions into what they are today.  Working with understanding the mind, and how we can use it to help us navigate through a stressful journey.  It was all that was required to run these sessions and make them my own. 

Testimonial Time

Here’s the wonderful testimonial I received … 

Priceless Relaxation …

Michelle’s Relaxation Class for cancer patients is unique in my experience. I have a lifetime of wonderful discussion groups in many contexts aiming to improve people’s quality of life. But when I joined this group, I immediately felt at home; people spoke with amazing candour and confidence whatever their background and however sensitive or personal the subject.

Michelle has the qualities of an excellent chairperson and gradually the conversation develops into a topic for today. But to do this she also uses the knowledge and intuition of a life dedicated to Harmony Life Balance. The result is a focus for meditation agreed and understood by all. The meditation is always superb. Twenty minutes can pass like a moment. Afterwards I feel a total relaxation of mind and body, a wholeness, a feeling of being grounded and ready for the world. This is – simply – priceless. Many people share comparable results. Thanks Michelle. So, so much.

– PAH Dudley (June 2022)

Subject of the Day

As this wonderful testimonial suggests, we focus on the specific subject of the day.  This is taken from the conversations that I allow at the very start of the session.  It is, after all, our get together to relax and enjoy, inspire, and support each other.  For me, it is an important part of the session that needs to take place.  It’s where I choose to direct guidance from.  

With everyone catching up and chatting away, we get the general idea around what people in the session would like to discuss or require guidance with.  We then agree the subject for the meditation, where I guide the relaxation in a way to help create reassurance, release feelings of concerns, worry and other issues.  The fact that I run the sessions from a holistic aspect allows positive change in the areas that are required for that particular week.  

Flowing with Adjustment

I find that any sessions I have planned tends to get adjusted.  By listening to the initial conversations of the group gives me the guidance of where to direct the meditation and inspirational talk and techniques.  Yes, it is good to plan sessions, I have many techniques and ideas to share, but if it’s not relevant for that day, it’s time to make the adjustment.  

Tools in the Toolbox – Connecting with Intuition

It’s not productive to talk about subjects that members are not resonating with and won’t find beneficial in that moment.  I have my tools in my toolbox as they say, we just bring out the ones that are required when needed.  What I also enjoy is meditations that just come from no-where.  It’s almost like I’m guided to create the right meditation for the group in that moment.  It just flows.  Something I have learned to acknowledge deep within me.  Rather than being concerned with have done it right for members, I connect with trusting in the moment and in the guidance that comes to mind from my intuition and own cancer journey experiences. 

Final Words

Running a cancer Support group gives a great feeling of helping and supporting people, giving something back to the community. Something I treasure greatly. Specialising in cancer support is something I enjoy very much, I love my job! I am also grateful for the many testimonials which I have received.

The lovely words people share from their experiences of support whether it be from my groups or my private sessions, is of course reassuring to me as a therapist. We require that feedback to help us continue the work that we do. Any therapist will tell you that. You can venture over and see more of my testimonial here.

No matter what you find yourself going though, where you find yourself; working with the understanding of the mind and how it can help you in powerful ways is always worth investing in. It changed my life in ways I would never have contemplated. From those understandings, and now as a therapist sharing what I applied myself; I appreciate where I am, what I do, and the wonderful support I can offer to others.

For more information on support please enquire here.

Electromagnetic Energy of Responding

The way to change others’ minds is with affection, and not with anger.

– Dalai Lama

How people treat you is their karma, how you respond is yours.

– Dr Wayne Dyer.

Two powerful quotes.  Each one stands alone within itself.  Put them both together and they are pretty amazing. Something that stands strong within me, that came forward from a place of adversity. 

It’s interesting when you look at the ‘energy of responding’ between people or something.  Especially if you are experiencing a negative response or an attack.  When I started treating Electromagnetic Hypersensitivity as though it was a person, that’s when things changed. That’s when I started to heal. It was powerful!

I have mainly referred to ‘them’ regarding people in this blog, for easiness of reading; but please refer to ‘them’ as ‘it’ as well, for other things or situations (e.g. such as Electromagnetic sensitivity in my case), because this situation can be used and utilised with either case very powerfully.

Learning

I learned a lot from my journey of Electromagnetic Hypersensitivity.  I’m quite proud of it to be honest.  Although totally debilitating at the time, it taught me how you can manipulate energy.  In fact, we all manipulate energy every second of the day by how we respond.  Yes, it took a while to realise, but once it clicked it became a very powerful realisation.  It taught me how to respond around people and different scenarios in life.  It really was quite a hard but helpful experience. 

What do I mean by Energy?

Everyone has different views on energy, some people don’t even connect with the word in the way I am describing it.  Let me explain a little here.  It is basically physics.  Everything is energy, whether you believe or not.  Everything that is in physical form, vibrates at a frequency.  It must, to maintain its solidness. Although nothing is really solid.

There are also non-physical things that vibrate at a frequency.  This is where I am going to use your mobile phone as an example.  When you send out a text message via your phone, do you see the words pop out the end; fly through the air, vanish in the distance and then land in the other persons mobile phone? No! absolutely not! That’s what I mean by energy.  EVERYTHING IS ENERGY!  And we have both negative and positive energy. 

Stand in your power

So, a little about this communication thing.  When you are experiencing a negative energy response, no matter where it is coming from, stand in your own power and just keep responding with kindness. Watch what happens. Be fully aware.  Be observant in the moment. Almost take a step back from the situation as though you are external from it, looking at it from a bird’s eye view. By doing this you are giving yourself space to process the information, the energy that is being presented to you. 

No Response is Powerful

No response is sometimes the best.  It will frustrate them more by you not responding. It will most likely confuse them and make them feel guilty or uncomfortable. You are highlighting that it is not acceptable, you are honouring your space and your energy by doing this.  You may find from practising no response that you get an apology, a change of some sort. Which you just accept if that occurs.  

Still continue to maintain and keep with the kind responses or no response. You’ll be amazed what happens. It might take time but when it does it’s amazing! There’s nothing they can throw back at you.  You’ve given them nothing but kindness or balanced energy in return.  Whether a person or ‘it’, I’m referring to IT as you would a person.  It’s a good analogy to have.  Whatever situation is at hand see IT as a bubble of energy if you like.  Whichever way you do this is irrelevant, the fact is you are addressing them.  It’s the addressing that’s key. 

Handing back the Negativity

You are handing back the negativity, you are not owning it. Not owning the ‘energy’. You reflect what they need to change in them.  You are in fact teaching them a lesson – to create positive change for themselves or the situation in which they find themselves. Plus, you are not lowering your energy levels down to their level.  

Negative energy has a lower frequency, positive energy has a higher frequency.  Maintain your high frequency at every cost in the moment.   By standing in your higher vibrational energy, you are helping the other person.  Giving the guidance for them to change to also respond with kindness.  It will lift them up to a higher place of energy. 

It may not be understood at that point in time, but it will eventually take place.   They have a choice to stay where they are or move to a higher place of positivity.  Your response has given them the option, the ball is in their court then. You have handed it over.  The energy you give out must be responded to.  You will experience situations to match it, it’s how quantum physics works. 

It gets easier and easier

It’s so hard for people to not respond, but once you’ve done it once and seen the power of it, you’ll do it again and again. No response is so much more powerful.  I always remember from many years ago, just after I had gone through my cancer journey. I didn’t response in a way the other person thought I would.  I responded with kindness and forgiveness.  I could have said quite a few things in return, but I chose not to.  The feeling it gave me from practising forgiveness in that moment freed me from the situation.  I could really feel the energy flowing through my body as it happened and as I walked away.  It was unbelievable, it was so empowering. Almost indescribable. It would have also sent messages to the other person to look at how they responded and change their energy. 

Your energy of responding can be changed by YOU at any moment for the better. Your energy resides within your responses. It’s that choice of response to that person, that thing, that situation …

– Michelle Townsend

Practise … Practise … Practise

As with most things, it’s just practise, and when you understand how energy works it becomes easier. Especially when you start getting responses that you didn’t expect. Remember, just watch the space. Be observant in the days and weeks that follow. Give them time to process it. It’s the same with anything in life, it doesn’t necessarily have to be relationships with people that we practise these responses.  When I started to respond in this way, when experiencing issues with Electrical Hypersensitivity, my body started changing, responding and catching up.  The energy changed around it. 

Self-respect

It’s also self-respect for you. You are not adding to the negative energy of it all.  By not responding you are highlighting to them that you are not part of their energy.  You are not feeding it.

If you had have responded with the same negativity, with fight, it would have got nastier, stronger.  That’s what they want, to prove they were right. With regards people, it’s the natural human ego taking over.  I’m right and your wrong!  But that’s only their thought process from their perception, nothing to do with yours. You have your own perception too.  Even though they may think it’s you, that’s their perception of the situation not yours. We can only perceive from ourselves.

By not responding how THEY wanted you to respond, you are now external to it because that’s your choice, that’s you practising self-respect, maintaining, and protecting your own energy. 

Change the thought and you change the response. 

It’s really fascinating isn’t it.  It’s very powerful.  I love how energy works and the mind. There is a big part of me that is very grateful that I experienced this EHS (Electromagnetic Hypersensitivity).  It was horrendous at the time, but in hindsight it certainly trained my brain to understand how energy works, how we can play with it, how we can adjust it and how we can manipulate it.  It’s back to that choice in any moment.  Change the thought and you change the response.  The energy vibration changes. Cause and effect. 

Your Responsibility

This process is a small part of how I got over the electrical sensitivity. Obviously, that wasn’t a person, that’s the ‘it’ I’m talking about, but it’s exactly the same scenario.   You see, either way we are talking about energy, it’s still a response.  Whether responses are with people or things, or situations, whatever they may be, it’s all the same type of energy playing out in front of you.  How you choose to deal with it is your responsibility, your choice. 

Final Words

This also brings back in the perception aspect.  We all perceive from our own experiences, our conditioning, which in some cases isn’t necessarily good energy.  If we can train our brain to understand about energy, then we can start to foster responses that are for the better, not only for us but for the other person or situation. Refer to last week’s blog on ‘What ‘Permission’ do YOU Allow?’.  It all links in. 

“Like attracts like. Just be who you are, calm and clear and bright. Automatically, as we shine who we are, asking ourselves every minute is this what I really want to do, doing it only when we answer yes, automatically that turns away those who have nothing to learn from who we are, and attracts those who do, and from whom we have to learn, as well”.  

– Richard Bach, Illusions.  The Adventures of a Reluctant Messiah. 

Don’t feed what you don’t like!   

It’s the old saying, ‘are you watering weeds, or are you watering flowers?’  

Feed what you want in life, let all the other stuff go. 

What ‘Permission’ do YOU allow?

Writing about my childhood memories this last week and talking about them with a friend, made me realise something really obvious. Something that I never knew back then.  It highlighted that if we could be taught a deeper understanding of the mind; how it works in simple terms when in our younger years at school, life would be made so much easier as we grow into adults.  Easier to understand, easier to flow through, easier to respond to, easier to navigate when we experience difficult times, situations or emotions.  The part I am talking about is learning about ‘permission’, our perception of it, and the knock-on effects of it. 

Now you may think ‘permission?’ how could that work with the mind? Here’s what I noticed as I took a step back in time. 

We are taught permission

As a child we are taught to get permission to do something.  We are bought up being trained with ‘we must get permission’ off our parents/guardians/teachers.  The repetition of asking permission becomes a habit. This subliminal programming then takes hold of us in a lot of ways as we move into adulthood.  Many people carry this ‘get permission’ thing into adulthood and the rest of their lives in many ways.  But why? Why would we do that? 

You are like a sponge

From the third trimester in your mother’s womb, through to the age of 7, this is when your personality traits and habits are created.  You, as a child are like a sponge.  Ever heard of the saying ‘Give me the child and I’ll show you the man’.

You take in all the information around you without realising it.  Your subconscious remembers every experience of your life. Remembering experiences of how adults and children respond around you, how people deal with different situations, what’s right, what’s wrong. You absorb it all in. Most of how you respond or were taught to respond comes from your observation in those early years. Therefore, people have different beliefs and respond differently to different situations, but the general ‘get permission’ thing I have noticed is still the same. 

Monkey Brain Antics!

So, in fact, as a child we openly give permission to allow what we are seeing, hearing, experiencing, and feeling around us. It trains us to become who we are, to learn. It’s part of growing up. It’s also part of our subconscious programming, sometimes nicknamed our monkey brain, and it can play tricks on us. But are we really that person? Deep down? It’s only what we’ve picked up along the way. Now I’m not saying I had a bad childhood, neither am I implying to anyone that they had one either.  You will generally find that how our parents/guardians/peers respond around us, those traits will be picked up by you in some way or form, good or bad. Even from your teachers at school.  School especially teaches us all about getting ‘the good old PERMISSION!’.  Think about it!

Honour your own Permission!

Yes, we must have some order about things, and about life, but this permission thing when you investigate it further, makes sense as to why you would choose to not give yourself permission to do something you really want to do in life.  You’ve practised getting permission all your life from other people!  So why would you give yourself permission! You’ve practised it!  Life, after all is about enjoyment, being happy, thriving, and what makes us buzz. Why do we need permission to honour ourselves?  Well, we don’t really but because we have practised it so much it’s an automatic response. 

You don’t need permission from others to follow your heart … only YOU can allow that!

– Michelle Townsend

Taking things on board

The point I’m getting at here is, many times we take on board someone else’s choice without realising it. Because we see it in reality in front of us. Either being told yes we can, or no we can’t. Then we start to believe that it’s the right thing to do in that moment.  As a child we mop up all the information, we just accept it. Have you stopped to address how you feel about something? Does it feel right to you?  How does the way this person is talking to me make me feel?  We never question it as a child. 

This quote is perfect regarding the above …

‘Ships don’t sink because of the water around them; Ships sink because of the water that gets in them.  Don’t let what’s happening around you get inside you and weigh you down’ – Unknown.

The question is, are you going to allow what that person said to you sink into your mind?  To stop you doing what feels right? Do you agree with it? Or do you agree to keep the peace and not honour you?  This then causes a knock-on effect.  Bringing other aspects in. 

Trusting ourselves

If someone comments on something you are doing and they say ‘Oh, that’s a good idea, but I don’t think it would work out for you, I don’t think you should do that, is that going to benefit you?’  Well, the answer is ‘yes’ if it feels right for YOU, it is right.  It’s not about getting permission off someone else.  If we know it feels right for us, why do we take on board other people’s opinions, when we should be trusting ourselves, our own inner guidance?

Reflections and using ‘Permission’ to control

I’ve found these situations come up not only in my life but having conversations with friends and clients with their experiences too.  Once you understand what’s playing out it’s easy to see right through the situation.  Now I don’t want to sound harsh here, but this is usually what’s going on. 

What the person has said to you usually reflects what’s going on in their life.  People’s responses are always about them, from their perspective remember.  It can only be from their perspective, it’s all they’ve got. It’s usually a reflection of what they are missing or have a grievance with themselves in their life.  Why would they comment like that otherwise?  It’s this fear of not being good enough and someone being better than themselves sneaking in.  

Without realising they try to control by not giving permission.  It’s their protection, for themselves. This is what happens with school children.  The playground scenario, bullying. It’s the subconscious striving to be the best!  It runs at a subconscious level.  It becomes a competition. It’s been programmed in in your early years. ‘Do your best’, win the competition’, etc, etc. It’s using permission to control. If I don’t give them permission, they won’t do their best scenario. 

Sadly, you hear it so many times.  Children can be harsh.  But where has that arisen from? You usually find if a child is kind, doesn’t push in and honours their peers, tend to get pushed back and picked on.  It’s like they are a push over.  

I genuinely believe it’s to do with this permission aspect.  It’s drilled into children to strive to be the best, to strive to beat the other person, to win the race, there’s always a competition!  And of course, the responses that come from this programming show up.  Words are then spoken in ways that can be detrimental to stop the person that is doing well and wanting to move forward successfully.  

Competition

Of course, competition is good, it drives us to do better, it pushes us along.  There is also the saying that as soon as you put yourself in competition with someone you have already lost. Rather than being in competition connect with the sheer enjoyment of what it is you are doing. When you enjoy something, you will do your best anyway.  There is no try.  Change try to enjoy.  You just enjoy it and do it for the fun of it. The achievement of it for your life and your experience. There lies a big difference in the perception of it all. 

Not Realising

It’s a very subtle thought process but I’m sure you can see where I’m coming from here.  Maybe you haven’t thought about it like this before. Maybe you’ve experienced it.  How the mind processes permission from an early age can actually be detrimental to the adult.  We do it without realising.   Continuing the same processes of thought, the same responses.  It also blocks the flow of life because we feel we require permission to do something that we enjoy. We put it off for another day not allowing or giving ourselves the permission to move forward. It’s a habit!

Placing Blame

It’s important to not place blame on someone for not doing what you so dearly love in life, but it happens.  It’s only you that has stopped you from doing it! It’s also important to realise that we are the only ones responsible for what we allow or give permission too.  If there’s anyone to blame for stopping our flow or giving ourselves permission it’s ourselves, no-one else. 

Kindness

We can only be there for ourselves.  We can be kind and help people around us, and that is so important.  Sharing and helping support others is good for us, it’s good for our heart and mind. We also find when we share an act of kindness it flows back into our life.  It’s also important that we allow kindness for ourselves too. Be kind to YOU.  It’s learning to give yourself permission to be YOU! To honour what you want from your life and connecting in with that. When you are there for yourself fully you have so much more to give and share out, because you yourself are happy. 

Final Thoughts

So, how can we change the above?  

When someone makes a comment and you feel discomfort, take a step back, start to consider responding differently to them.  Firstly, be there for YOU! Honour YOU! Then respond in a way that can help direct them to be there for themselves too.  Remember their comment could be coming from a place of fear of not being good enough.  Think about ‘permission to control’. Their comment being used as protection to make them feel better.  Usually, a bit of kind guidance can change their perspective.  Even though they initially made you feel uncomfortable. Forgive them in your mind.  It will not only give you permission to move forward, but also for them too. 

Imagine if children were taught this early on, this understanding.  Look at the difference in responses that would take place.  It’s all about understanding perception in that moment. Change it! Remember when you are agreeing to something that doesn’t feel right to you, you are giving your permission away.  You are not being the true you in that moment. Only YOU are responsible for what you allow and give permission to. 

Other people’s influences and comments can help, but they can also hinder.  Be sure to keep your blinkers on! Always follow your heart 💜

Neuroplasticity, you’re Firing and Wiring System

The more I work with the mind the more it amazes me!  I’ve experienced seeing fabulous changes in clients in sessions that just blow your mind away!  As a therapist, seeing these responses and changes in sessions, for me, is the reassurance that the mind certainly can create powerful change.  Sometimes in the simplest of ways. 

Neuroplasticity in Hypnosis

Having experienced both sides of the coin, the receiving end and the guiding of Hypnotherapy and Hypnosis sessions, you start to click onto various aspects of this powerful part of us, our mind.  It truly is a powerful tool, and one that plays many tricks on us in the cleverest of ways.  It can in fact be quite stubborn!  If we know these tricks in which it can play on us, surely, we can use this consciously to work with.  That’s what we do in hypnosis. 

One part that really fascinates me is something called ‘neuroplasticity’.  We have had a bit of a focus on that this week, so let’s have just a brief look and learn a little of how our brain wires.  I’m no scientist, but just having a simple understanding can guide us into a world of new directions, new thought processes and new responses.

What is neuroplasticity?

In a nutshell it’s the brains incredible ability to change itself.  It is the brain’s ability to create change and respond to new information within its neural networks and pathways.  We all have this function working within our minds, it just does it!  Neuroplasticity is also known as neural plasticity, or brain plasticity.  

We all go through life, and we change as time passes.  We all have different needs at certain times of our life, especially when we are learning something new. We experience different situations, and we learn from them.  Our brain can change as we grow, and it reorganizes our functions, thoughts, and responses for us if it differs from how we were previously functioning in an old habit or way in our life before. It can even help people who suffer from a brain injury. 

Brain injury

Neuroplasticity is often spoken about and associated with brain injury.  It allows the nerve cells to introduce a new way to deal with the situation at hand.  It compensates for what’s lost and adjusts itself so that the person can respond to new situations and changes that have taken place in their life and their environment.  The body adjusts, and it adjusts very quickly.  Neuronal firing happens between the neutrons in our brain via electrical impulses and neurotransmitters. Just like in times of change we adjust, so can the responses for someone experiencing a brain injury.

Music and Neuroplasticity

Being a music teacher for the most part of my life, I’ve seen neuroplasticity in action.  It always makes me smile.  Let’s use this as an example.  It can also be applied to any new situation we experience.  

First Learning

Think about when someone first decides to learn piano or a keyboard instrument, in fact it could be any musical instrument.  Initially, we get the person to be aware of the shape of the keyboard the layout of the ebony and ivory on the piano keys as I call it.  At first, they don’t know which note is what, they haven’t got a clue! They don’t know about keys, sharps or flats, Middle C etc, but after a few lessons they start to become aware of the information that they can process from reading the simple dots on the page to transferring it onto the keyboard.  

Dexterity Functions

Think about if you try to use your five fingers on a piano.  Most people press a key with their forefinger they don’t apply all five fingers.  So, when you ask them to play five notes from thumb through to little finger controlling each note individually it can become quite a task.  Their brain isn’t used to processing the information quickly and easily at first.  The fourth finger and little finger get in a muddle usually and almost don’t work properly.  After a few weeks practice the fingers start to work individually for themselves.  You know which finger to place on which note and you press it.  It starts to become automatic; you don’t have to think about it.  

Something New

What you have created in this instance is the firing and wiring of learning something new.  Your brain has made new connections within it to allow you to create that function physically, and the process of mentally reading the music and transferring the information.  Now normally you would think nothing more of this and just get on with learning the instrument, but this is neuroplasticity in action!  It’s the same as typing on your computer keyboard, or the mini keyboards on our phones. Think how quickly someone can type a text message, their finger, or fingers, depending on whether they use one hand or two flies round the letters.  How is your brain processing that information? It has had to create new neural pathways to do just that, and it did it easily for you, with practise.  Just like practise is required to learn the piano. 

Everyday Life Growth

So, you see we use neuroplasticity every day of our lives, we are constantly experiencing growth within our brain, and our brain just turns up to do the job.  Anything that we no longer require it disconnects it.  It no longer fires and wires it together. Think of the old saying ‘If you don’t use it, you lose it!’ it’s very true.  I suppose another way we could look at this is the age-old wisdom.  Growth is of course inevitable, for all of us, and we gain that wisdom as we go. 

Could we direct this?

Yes, of course we can.  What if we chose to use it specifically? To direct it deliberately in a certain way? In a way that could benefit us.  What could we change?  knowing more about it and having just a brief simple understanding that this neuroplasticity exists within us in as mentioned above could change the way we respond. We could use it to direct our life in the direction we are choosing, rather than getting drawn into situations that could take us down the wrong route of negative thinking, actions, and responses. Direct a learning of how you want it to be. How do we do that?….

Becoming Aware

…By becoming aware. It’s good to STOP for a moment and think about what’s going through your mind, your thoughts and responses, no matter what task is at hand.  What could you be allowing to sink down into your subconscious mind today? Down that rabbit hole?  What is firing and wiring in your brain? 

Are you happy with what you are making connection with? Do those thoughts feel good to you? Are you creating something you want or don’t want? What new habit is being created by you right now? without even realising it. Our subconscious loves habit it’s good at it! We learn things naturally from our experience but have a think about what you could deliberately direct to let go of the old and bring in the new. Just how you want it.  It’s how our mind processes new information and it can change and run a new program, so direct it! Make it fun!

Get off your autopilot!

Rather than just going through your day on autopilot, make a conscious decision to check in occasionally. You can change it 😊 You can run new programs, just like updating your Apps on your phone or devices.

Simple but very powerful stuff! Enjoy your creating and learning. Enjoy updating your own person APP! Remember to Practice! Practice! Practice!

#neuroplasticity #learning #newhabits #create #perspective

The Benefits of Gratitude

Whilst away on holiday last week in the glorious weather, I enjoyed, and spent a good amount of time writing.  It was too hot to go out and about, so I made use of the rest, but also the space I had to write.  I took a week off from my blog and focused on my book completely.  After alI,I was on holiday, but wanted to maintain my writing.

Space

The space I had for writing was sitting out in nature, obviously in the shade.  I would have looked like a lobster otherwise!  It was most enjoyable, and in fact highlighted and reminded me once again of the beauty we have around us.  It reminded me of how I used to really connect into nature as a focus of gratitude back in 2010.  It helped me through that tough time tremendously.

I had been working on various chapters of my book, placing memories in appropriate places. This reminded me of ‘Gratitude’ and how I used it back then.  How powerful it was.  How good it was for both my mental health and physical well-being.

Materialistic or Inner self

Now, most people will say ‘Yes, I’m really grateful for what I have in my life’, and most people are. But are they focusing mainly on material things and aspects they have, or what surrounds them?  That’s great!  We all require material things to make our life more comfortable whilst we are here in physical form, but do they focus on what they have inwardly? What does gratitude create within us? Inside of us?

Gratitude and the Brain

Gratitude activates parts of our brain called the hypothalamus.  It wires and fires parts of what we call our brain’s reward pathways.  That positive emotion we feel when receiving something special.  It can activate the brain stem to produce our brain’s pleasure chemical ‘Dopamine’.  It boosts our serotonin levels which in turn creates the pleasure response. When we feel thankful or appreciative it creates a positive emotion within us, creating many health benefits both mental and physical.  When we are in a place of gratitude we respond with feelings of happiness, generosity and kindness. 

What does gratitude teach us?

Life goes well for us most of the time, but life can throw curveballs at us at any point, and it usually does.  It’s how we learn to deal with these curveballs that’s important.  How do we approach a difficult situation? Do we get drawn in, or do we take a step back first before we respond?  Practising gratitude is something we can utilise to help get us through. Things don’t always go the way we want them to.  

What gratitude does, is teaches us no matter what is thrown at us, no matter what we go through, something good will come out of it.  It directs us to look and think about options we would not have even considered before. It drives us to foster what we are grateful for, what we do have.  

It can even create a new direction in life, as it did so for me.  Faced with the adversity of death in 2010 I found gratitude refocused me to enjoy every single minute of my life.  I made the decision to enjoy what I had left, whether it was going to be months or years.  It was life changing for me at that point.  It moves you into experiencing more positive emotions. Plus remembering that we only have NOW.  So, it’s wise to use it in a way that will benefit us rather than deplete us of energy and cause stress, and why not! 

How does gratitude feel within us?

Gratitude is often described as a warmth flowing through you.  You feel a feeling of warmth and contentment.  Just like any other responses, feelings appear within the body associated with an emotion.  The emotion of gratitude produces many responses.  Along with the feeling of warmth, your breath slows down allowing a space to appear within your chest area, giving you space to breathe.  I used to experience a feeling of being grounded, like it was logging me back in, realigning my body.  You may find a smile appears, but you could also find you are experiencing tears rolling down your face.  These are all normal responses to gratitude.  

A response I tend to receive from a gratitude emotion is closing my eyes.  Is this because I use nature as a direct gratitude focus? I would say most people when sitting out in nature spend moments with their eyes closed to have their own space. There is a strong urge to close my eyes, which can easily be the introduction of a meditation.  Gratitude to me is almost like a mini meditation.  It’s checking in with YOU.  Obviously there are different aspects and you may find you experience different responses, it’s good to be aware of these.  Take note whilst you experience a feeling of gratitude.  The more you become aware of it the stronger you will connect into it. 

What are the benefits of Gratitude?

Here are some benefits below that you could experience from using gratitude daily.  When you make it part of your routine it becomes a natural process and response.  Imagine what you could benefit from practising this wonderful feeling and emotion. Make it your trait, and create a new habit where you naturally express this state of being.

  • Makes us happier
  • Being present in the moment
  • Provides room for perspective
  • Regulates our emotions
  • Reduces stress and anxiety
  • Improves our heart health
  • Reduces loneliness
  • Improves our relationships
  • Better sleep
  • Better energy
  • Protect against burnout
  • Boosts our self-esteem
  • Increases mental strength
  • Increases our resilience
  • Deal with the face of adversity
  • Grow from trauma
  • Reduce symptoms of post-traumatic stress disorder
  • Improves physical health
  • Improves Psychological health
  • Boost motivation and performance

The list goes on… 

Recognising … Acknowledging … Appreciating

It’s really important to recognise what we are grateful for.  Obviously, we first must become aware of what we are grateful for in our own life. Shifting our focus to what is good.  Remember, we can choose a thought in any moment, so when we place focus on what’s working for us our mind allows us to redirect our thoughts to that.  Rather than focusing on what we don’t have, appreciate what we do have in our life. This could be as basic as nature as mentioned earlier, everyone has access to nature, that is something we can all utilise.  This is what I used so much to create a change in focus. 

Once you are aware and recognised what you are grateful for acknowledge the Gratitude.  Because we have become aware of the gratitude, we then start to respond differently to situations around us.  We start to acknowledge the good feeling within us, which in turn flows from us as our appreciation to others or things around us. For example, relationships become strengthened because we are acknowledging kindness, it’s a two-way response. This is not just specific to relationships with people, it’s regarding relationships with different things in all areas of our life.  We can apply it to anything. 

The power of appreciating Gratitude is powerful. Give thanks for what you are grateful for.  After all every single part of it is very special, no matter how simple.  It could be in the form of an action, a response, or even just for the fact that you are grateful. Value the essence of gratitude.  There is always something to be grateful for, even if it is just feeling grateful for reading these words on the screen as you are right now. 

Start each day with a grateful heart

So, if we want to continue and foster a place of gratitude, how can we do this? What things can we put in place to enable us to practise this and create a good habit?  

The fact that you are focused that way will bring you more to be grateful for in the first instance, because that’s your focus. You get what you focus on!  You will start to notice more to be grateful for around you. Practise makes perfect. You start your day with brushing your teeth, so why not start your day with a grateful heart! Make it a natural habit. Start it whilst brushing your teeth, that will get you off to a good start. It will be your reminder where to place your focus then you are off and running with it!

Journaling and Gratitude Jar

An excellent and fun way is to start a gratitude journal.  Write three things you are grateful for at the beginning or end of each day.  What experiences occurred through your day that made you feel grateful? You could even create a gratitude jar where you write one sentence each day on a slip and then place it in the jar.  Then when in times of trouble, worry, stress or concerns you can dip into your jar for some positive guidance and refocus yourself. Sometimes all we require is a gentle push to refocus.  Simple but powerful.

Client responses

Whilst working with clients I bring in a tremendous amount of gratitude, and get them to work with it. It’s really important to me. Being on the the other side of therapy and using the benefits of gratitude myself is something I share. If it helped me it can help anyone!  

Like the list above it has many benefits.  I find it especially lifts people from a place of depression and low mood.  When we take things back to basics such as connecting with nature, a space is made to allow a shift to take place and create a new perspective.  Simple things always work best, it takes less effort, is easy to do and allows them to be in the moment which can be built on over time. 

So … What are YOU grateful for right NOW?

#gratitude #benefitsofgratitude #grateful #feelings #emotions

The Power of Self-hypnosis

I can’t reiterate enough, that when we have a good understanding of how our mind works, we have the power to create powerful change in our lives.

Various Techniques

On my journey through dis-ease I’ve ventured down many paths, tried various techniques, and applied various thought processes to create change.  All these processes I’m gladly sharing in my book which I’m working on right now.  We still have a way to go with it, but it’s continuing to be a wonderful journey of enlightenment for me.  It’s also been reassuring to me as I look back at all these amazing processes. And believe me I’ve tried and tested them! It’s a great reminder to me as a therapist, as I am able to utilise these tried and tested processes with client’s or for myself as and when necessary. Sometimes we all need reminding that it’s beneficial to us.  

Where We Focus

You tend to find we focus on a specific technique at any one time. That’s what I’ve found along my journey.  You have many techniques to utilise, but you tend to stick with one or two specific ones.  You use the one that resonates with you for that moment. The bonus being you have all these, at hand in your toolbox, when required.  It’s reassuring in itself that they are there to literally grab hold of at times of change, or when you want to make a change in your life. 

Toolboxes

Our toolbox for life is constantly being updated and added to as we go through our daily life.  Just like we have been talking about in our recent blogs and positive quotes. We have learnt that our subconscious logs away information from our experiences, and our perceptions of those experiences.  Remember Perception is ‘Reality’. 

New Techniques

As we become aware of a new technique, we tend to get a little excited about using it. We are focused on applying it. It’s a new focus for us.  When we have something new it creates fascination. We are intrigued to see if it’s going to work. It’s almost like a new adventure.  As with most techniques, you can adjust them and apply a little of your touch to make them right for you. The general idea stays the same.  Again, you will perceive it in your own eyes and make the adjustments so that it works for you in the best possible way.

Working Wonders

One such process which is always very powerful, and one I use with many of my clients is ‘Self-Hypnosis’. I always love sharing this technique with them, once they have addressed and made positive changes from their sessions.  It’s giving them that special space to connect in with their subconscious, where they can make adjustments themselves.  This helps to maintain a healthy thought process, positive outlook, and positive responses.  It’s also about being kind to you. Using ‘affirmations’, or as I prefer to say ‘positive statements’ alongside self-hypnosis can work wonders.  Self-hypnosis doesn’t just bring you to a place of feeling calm. You really can address anything you are wanting to change or adjust.

A statement to yourself has POWER! Words have POWER!

Choose kindness and understanding within.  Remember you are always doing your best.

How Do We Talk to Ourselves?

Imagine if you spoke to your friend the way you talk inwardly to yourself. How would that make them feel?  We are all guilty of knocking ourselves down.  For example …  ‘I’m no good at that! Why did I say that? I don’t have confidence to do that! You are hopeless! I don’t like my shape! I could do better! That was totally rubbish!’   We’ve all done it at some point in our lives, beating ourselves up over what we have or haven’t done well.  We really should be talking kindly to ourselves within. Imagine what that negative self talk could create, if repeated.

Use Negative to Create Positive

We can use negative situations and negative self talk to create a positive.  Have you ever thought about using a negative to teach a learning? We learn more from negative experience than we do positive. We usually learn not do it again.  What you often find is people focus on the negative and hold it within them, which can then create blocks for them. Why not use the experience and say ’Well that didn’t go quite as planned but it has shown me the way to go now. I am now looking at other options that I would have never considered before’.  That negative experience has driven you to a new place of focus that could be life changing, allowing amazing new experience to come into your life.   If you can learn to look at it from that perspective imagine how your experiences would change! Imagine how your thought processes would change too!

So … what’s Self Hypnosis?

It’s basically connecting into our ‘Theta’ brain wave patterns. This is where we record and recall our memories. It also connects into the emotional aspect of ourselves. After all, the subconscious is our ‘emotional’ part of our mind. 

Your Space

Self-Hypnosis allows you to have space for you. To check in with yourself to make positive change.  A little like doing a meditation. A self-Hypnosis session could last as long as half an hour, an hour, or even just 1 minute. It all depends on what you want from your personalised session with YOU.   We spend 90 percent of our lives in hypnosis. So when we choose to direct ourselves specifically into this space, with specific intention, it’s amazing what you have access to. 

A Clear Direction

When working with clients, I direct them through a specific process, training their subconscious to automatically connect quickly and easily to those Theta brainwaves. We experience Theta brainwaves when we are in a hypnotic state, deep meditation, or light sleep. This also includes REM dream state. Clients gain an in-depth understanding through their sessions, which allows them to utilise self-hypnosis fully.  Something I learnt very deeply from my own healing journey, and now share with others.

Learning self-hypnosis as part of your hypnotherapy sessions for whatever issue is a common technique therapists share.  It’s a very good way of maintaining a positive outlook and is extremely good for dealing with anxiety or breaking a habit. 

Let’s look at a simplified version …

Beginners quick Self-Hypnosis Process

The fact that we spend most of our life in hypnosis, we are all able to connect into a hypnotic trance state.  It really is just a focused state of attention. 

  • GOAL. Firstly, set your goal of what you are wanting to achieve.  Create a positive statement in present tense.  E.g., ‘I am calm’, ‘I now experience….’
  • SET INTENTION. Honour that you are taking time for YOU! Set the intention that you are allowing yourself to connect into your own space. Make sure you are in a safe place, where you feel comfortable.
  • BREATH. Bring your awareness to your breath.  Take three deep breaths in and slowly exhaling out. Allow yourself to settle.
  • CONNECT. Connect with feeling relaxed. No one can get you while you are here in YOUR space.
  • ADDRESS. Address any part of you that is experiencing something you want to change or feel uncomfortable with. Check in with YOU.  Have a chat to yourself just like you would your best friend.  Replace it and focus on the outcome you want. 
  • VISUALISE. Visualise yourself how you want it to be. Remember the subconscious does not distinguish between reality or whether you are thinking it. It will believe it to be true. 
  • POSITIVE STATEMENT. Spend time visualising, experiencing your goal, repeating your positive statement until you feel you’ve done enough and feel more comfortable with it.
  • BREATH. Focus once again on your breath, start to make gentle movements bringing your awareness to where you are sitting. 
  • UP AND OUT. Count from 1 to 5 making yourself aware you will awaken feeling refreshed, energised and alert as you reach 5. 

This is just a very simple process. It’s a basic layout of how to go about self-hypnosis.  You don’t necessarily have to go into do any work on yourself. You could just enjoy relaxation and a connection to calm.

For a more detailed practise and understanding of self-hypnosis please do get in touch.  I personalise it to each individual client showing them the full benefit they can achieve from this amazing technique.

Enjoy 😊

#selfhypnosis #Hypnotherapy #selfhelptools #ownspace #negativetopositive